The pre-scan anxiety we have previously seen did not appear until the night before the scan, when we were at church. Thank you to those at church who helped her work through those fears. Monday morning she was fine again, although obviously it was still on her mind, as she spent some time watching some videoes from the series 'I can't go to school today'. Victoria found these videos a few months ago on the ABC TV Education site.
The series includes a video about children diagnosed with Leukemia, Epilepsy and HIV+. Victoria relates to these videos very well, particularly when the children talk about the masks they wear to hide their real feelings. We have found these videos to be a great resource for starting conversations about Victoria's own feelings.
On Monday, as we were walking to the hospital carpark after the scan, a group of people walked past us. After they had walked by, Victoria whispered to me, "I just let them stare Mum, just like the sister said in the movie, 'If they stare, let them stare'."
They were staring at her splint, and the movie she was talking about was Wonder. Last week we went to see it as a family. We all had moments of tears, and actually I pretty much cried the whole way through it. There was another line from that movie that Victoria has taken hold of too - Don't blend in when you were born to stand out.
We are grateful for the people who have taken the time to make these series/movies, as they do provide another avenue for discussion and increase awareness of other people's experiences.
Another Mum we had met during Victoria's first couple of days in hospital in 2011, gave me this beautiful gift yesterday. It comes from an organisation called Mumcology.org.
I had not heard of the organisation before, but when I googled it, this is what I found ...
What Is Momcology?
There is an increasing population of parents in the world going through chemotherapy. They are in the fight of their lives. They know the exact names of the drugs, how to spell them, their dosages, interactions, side effects and long-term complications…although, these parents have never been diagnosed with cancer themselves…their children have.
These parents are caretakers, nurses, nutritionists, physical therapists, inventors, world-class entertainers, teachers, philanthropists, psychologists and advocates every single second of their lives after the moment they hear the words, “your child has cancer.”
Worldwide, every 2 minutes, a child is diagnosed with cancer and another family is left devastated.
When I watched the movie Wonder, one of the reasons for my tears, was not only the impact on Victoria's life, her siblings and our marriage, but the impact on me - the mum. The hours and hours and hours that have gone into doing all those things listed above, plus of course, praying and petitioning God for His grace and mercy in Victoria's life. It has been something that I did not anticipate that my life would include. I am so grateful that we still have Victoria with us, as I know that is not the case for many families. But being completely honest, there have been moments of resentment, when I think about the other things that I and we as a family, could have been doing for the past 7 years, rather than hours at hospital, doing therapies and coping with the emotional outfall of it all.
But then, by the grace of God, I lift my eyes to Jesus, and He helps me to see what He has been doing in us in the past 7 years. I can see, through the tears, that He has been drawing us closer to Him, helping us to start to understand that His ways are higher ....
For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9
Helping us to understand that His way is perfect, that He is a shield to those who trust in Him.
As for God, His way is perfect! The word of the Lord is tested and tried; He is a shield to all those who take refuge and put their trust in Him. Psalm 18:30
Helping us to understand that without Him, we are nothing. And so we will celebrate this Christmas with grateful hearts, and a little more understanding that Jesus is the reason for the season.
Thank you again for standing with us in prayer, supporting and encouraging us. We are so grateful that we are not doing this journey alone. May God bless you and your family.
Now faith is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses]. Hebrews 11:1